The Great Wide Open

Every single day, every single run is an adventure. Running outside just has too many variables; it is completely uncontrolled. And even suburbia can get a little wild. Just take Charlie, for instance. This results in fear, profanity, injuries, unwelcome neighborly encounters, and so much more. But, I've tried running on a treadmill. I really gave it my best. I put my little towel over the stupid informational panel and chugged away like an athlete. And I hated it. I kept lifting up my towel every quarter mile. Also, it's too easy to just get off and go next door for frozen yogurt. I write from exeprience.

Truth be told, I just like doing it outside. I said it. I prefer to do it in the great wide open. Even though everyone can see me in all my glory. Feral animals may chase me. I may run into trash cans and be forced into awkward neighborly conversations. But this is how I like to do it. I'm owning it. And if you need to avert your gaze, that's fine.  In fact, I prefer it. I like doing it outside, but I don't need you all watching.

Anyway, today my legs were sore, and I was going slow. A distant neighbor was outside and yelled, "Everyone is going for a walk today, huh?" And I wish he hadn't used that word. You know: walk. I am NOT walking out there (you know, like a good half of the time). Or at least I wasn't intending to at this moment. Sure I was slogging along. But I think you could tell I wasn't attempting to walk. Probably. Thus, I replied "THIS... IS... NOT... WALKING...." And I don't know exactly how I looked or sounded at that moment. But he looked very puzzled and shook his head. I probably would've fired back with something obscene and witty. But my legs were killing me, I was almost home, and also almost out of breath. Because I was RUNNING. He was lucky. Just wait until I'm better at this and I'm able to run AND offend at the same time. That'll be the day. It's good to have goals.